Parents Who Work in Schools

There are some definite pluses and minuses to working in a school, but not the one any of your children attend.  Today is one of those mainly positive situations.  I have an institute day and my kids all have school.  The only minus is that there was no sleeping in.  Tom and I still had to get up at the break of dawn to get Miles to preschool in Elk Grove and Emmett to school in Evanston.  The positives today, however, are numerous.  Right now I'm in one of the awesome Arlington Heights Memorial Library studios learning how to convert vinyl to CD.  It is fun and helps me help patrons when I work the desk.  We started with Stevie Wonder "Innervisions," which once belonged to my stepdad.  Pure awesomeness.  Now we are recording Pagnini's 24 Caprices for Solo Violin by Itzhak Perlman.  A bit of a whiplash from the other record, but also pure awesomeness.  My hubby is sick so he is tagging along to keep me company.  Oh, we also have a belly full of Starbucks pastries - something we also never get to do.

After this, the day continues with a childless lunch for two.  Then we are the Mystery Readers in Sarah's classroom today.  Something else we never get to do.  And did I mention that it is a gorgeous fall day?  Pure bliss all the way around.

Here is a list of those pluses and minuses I mentioned:

Minus

• not being able to go to school functions because you are needed at your own school (example, Lydia in 1st grade not understanding why I couldn't be at HER Valentine's Party when I had my own classroom party to be at)
• not having breaks and holidays line up
• travel time and distance
• having to work school functions your own kids can't come to
• different start/end times which make before or after school conferences with your kids' teachers next to impossible
• extra money spent for before/aftercare (though other professions have that one too)
• our kids' teachers are sometimes wary of us because, let's face it, educator parents can be a "know it all" bunch
• limited number of sick/personal days to care for sick children (or yourself).  We have a sick bank at my school for if I get some horrible long-lasting illness, but if my kids get one - too bad - I can't use the sick bank :(

Plus

• getting different breaks and holidays.  I know that I already listed this as a minus but sometimes it's a plus because I get a break and get things done that I wouldn't otherwise if they were home with me.
• I know a lot about what is going on at their schools because I also live it at my own
• sometimes teachers are kindred spirits because we know schools and understand what they go through better than other professionals
• summers together!!!
• Christmas break together and sometimes spring break too
• except for conferences and Tom's catering events, we are home most nights for family dinner and bedtime.  When one of us isn't home, there is always FaceTime! (See earlier post on this.)

And now, back to enjoying our day off without children.  Have a great weekend, Everyone!

School Support

As an educator, I have both unrealistically high standards and enormous amounts of patience for my kids' schools and staff. That's a pretty big juxtaposition I know but one that I think most teacher/parents would agree is true. I'm thinking "I could do that better" and also "wow, I never thought of trying that" and "gosh, I know they must be exhausted."

Since my eldest are 15-years-old, and Emmett is Emmett, I've worked with more schools than most people. Seven just for the two older twins. Add the two day cares and Matthew and Sarah's school and you have an even 10 total, so far. Only 6 of those 10, have dealt with us as a blended family. 

I go into a school partnership with the feeling that being a blended family is "normal" these days. After all, my own parents have been divorced since I was 9. My teachers seemed okay with all that, at least in my young eyes. And Emmett and Lydia's schools have been pretty great. Tom is a respected member of the parental team and both houses are communicated with equally. 

The problem came last year when Matthew and Sarah started kindergarten. We went in with high hopes but had a series of let downs. From having to ask the office three times to please mail us anything going to the custodial house to the "Kindergarten Welcoming Committee" which was anything but - it was disheartening. Now I will freely admit that I am sensitive to being treated as "the other woman."  I feel like I have a ton to offer as a parent and supporter of the school. Hell, I'm room parent material. Why weren't these people thrilled to meet and involve me?  I can get a bit touchy and probably read into things too much. The school is also where Tom's ex attended as a little girl, so part of me will always feel like an invader. Another barrier. 

Well summer was winding down, and I knew in my heart as a parent and educator that I needed to start fresh with this school. We filled out the usual intake questionnaires listing family members, contact info, strengths, weaknesses, etc.  We got the supplies. We sent them with high hopes and held our breath. 

Then curriculum night came up and we were both nervous and feeling like "do your worst - we can take it."  The teachers were warm and welcoming. They both had duplicates of materials for both houses, without us asking. Matthew's desk was even next to a student who clearly had two sets of materials. A kindred spirit perhaps?  The room parents had a table with materials to pick up. (Last year they had been addressed to one set of parents and it took forever to get extras.)

We left feeling hopeful and happy. I'm really going to try to keep an open mind. After all, it isn't about us at all. However, if the school can be supportive then life will be that much happier for all of us. 

Staycation!

I must admit when Amy brought up the idea of having a vacation at home this past Labor Day weekend, I was skeptical.  "How relaxing of a time can we have staying home?", is what I was thinking.  Three days at home is nothing compared to a full week or more in a location that includes a nice hotel, sightseeing, etc.  How was this going to be even close?  But, knowing my wife, I put my trust in that she knew what she was talking about, and let go.  I even turned off my work email, on my iPhone, so I wouldn't be dragged back into reality.  I was all in!

We had our little town's Sunset Fest, which is an end to summer festival.  Carnival rides, fair food, games, concerts, a parade and fireworks, are all part of the Fest, to help say goodbye to summer.  Saturday morning was the kick off, well for us at least.  We started with the parade.  It was great by small town standards.  Almost an hour long, and the people walking the route were throwing candy, fliers and even some were handing out Freeze Pops!  It was Americana at it's finest.  The sirens on the fire trucks were too loud, Miles didn't like them but he did end up sitting on the curb, in my lap anyhow, as they went by.  Maybe like me, he was taking a long time waking up that morning.  By the time parade was over, we were all ready for more.  I felt the stress melting away, minute by minute.  We only had the older twins and Miles, this morning, and things were looking up.  We made our way over to the carnival and walked through, seeing what rides and games would take our money.  The flashing lights gave way to the food area.  "I'll take, 'Things That Are Fried', for $200, Alex!"  Snickers, Twinkies, Oreos and Mars bars, were all on their way into pancake batter then the deep fryer.  What could be bad about that?  Pulled pork sandwiches, hot dogs and a tub of cheese fries with bacon, were on the menu that day and we all had our share.  We then doubled back to the carnival.  

It was a day of firsts.  Emmett had his first ride on a Ferris Wheel with Lydia. Emmett didn't seem stressed at all by the Ferris Wheel.  He did look a little concerned when it would stop and the basket would sway a bit, but when it was rolling, he was having a ball.  It was so nice to see him not stressed and having fun.  It set the course for a good day.  Miles was eager to look at the rides but not really up for trying any.  He would say he wanted to ride something, but when we got up to it, he would back down.  Then he saw the train.  It was just a little ride that went in an oval for about two minutes.  He made sure to tell Amy and I that he wanted to drive the train, so we worked it out to be in the front of the line.  When the operator opened the gate, Miles was up to the front in a flash.  I belted him in and told him I would be right outside the fence.  He looked skeptical but held it together, after all, he was driving a train!  Watching him go around that track was one of the best moments as a father.  My little boy, who only an hour ago was clutching me because the fire truck was too loud, was now riding a carnival ride, by himself.  Truly bittersweet.

Miles then decided he wanted another ride.  He wanted to ride the helicopters.  The kiddie ride that goes around in a circle and will go up and down at times.  He had said he did not want to ride this when we first passed, prior to the train.  Now, with his new found courage, he wanted in.  Amy took him this time, to pick out a helicopter and to get him situated.  He picked one that a little girl was in, she was three we found out from her father, and they were pilot and co-pilot.  I thought that once it went up and down the first time, we would have a upset boy on our hands.  I couldn't have been more wrong.  HE LOVED IT!!!  He was rocking the steering wheel back and forth, pushing the horn button and just having a grand old time.  Mr. I Don't Want To, was actually having fun.  I was having a blast, too.  Seeing this all through their eyes, side by side with my best friend, it made for a great day.  The perfect start to our Staycation.

To be continued...